he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
