i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
