this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
