I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Still dying that you shit outside
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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