swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
