If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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