I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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