ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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