I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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