Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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