Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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