take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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