i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
