he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why are your pants in the freezer?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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