Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
