is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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