She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We left an ass print on the piano.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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