Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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