I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
