it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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