Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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