You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
