im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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