dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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