that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
