So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
