You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
