You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
