He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
