At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
