idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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