It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize