I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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