do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
