I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
