# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
