Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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