ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
