Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize