god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
