theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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