also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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