Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
