it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
