my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
