When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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