I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize