i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she woke up with a sticky ear
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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