since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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