Nicole vs. Life
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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