Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
