Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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