I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he high fived his dick after we had sex
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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