Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
