I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize