Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think your dad took our porno
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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