My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
